How do you tell your grandmother that she needs to set her family on fire?

To my Grandmother…

How do you tell your grandmother that she needs to set her family on fire? This isn’t a joke or a “hook-line-and-sinker” opener… Mommom, if you want peace in the home, you need to inflame the love of God in the hearts of those you love; the only way you can do this is to be so consumed, so animated, so alive with the love and life of the Holy Spirit in your own heart. How? In short, pray. We must pray. And if we think we know how to pray we must admit that we don’t… “Lord, teach us how to pray!” (Luke 11:1). We do not know how to pray as we ought, therefore the spirit of God intercedes in us with inexpressible groanings… (Romans 8:26).

This might sound ambiguous, intimidating, and perhaps even impossible. Honestly, I hope it does—because that means you’re human! What a task! To inflame the heart of Nick or Debbie with the love of Jesus Christ… where would we even start? Before we talk about prayer, we need to talk about peace.

Peace within our families starts with peace in the heart. It begins with a pierced heart. There is no peace without the sword; there is no peace unless we ourselves are pierced. Mary is our model: it is Her Immaculate Heart that we must look too in order to understand how she—the Mother of God—came to receive the WORD OF GOD (…the word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword…Hebrews 4:12. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God… Ephesians 6:17) so that “the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed” (Luke 2:35).

Peace in the home comes from peace in our hearts—and peace in our hearts can only arise from a revolutionary devotion to Christ—a commitment to the Word that matches the Motherly model we’ve been given: “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done unto me according to your will” (Luke 1:38).

Mary sacrifices life to give life. Mary denies herself to follow Christ. Mary humbles herself so as to be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit. Mary does not serve herself, but Her Savior, Her Son, the Living God—a mystery, not some “man-made” mission, but truly a Mystery-Made-Man. Her “yes” changes the course of history. Her yes enables our hearts to say yes… With Mary, alongside her fiat given from faith which overrides all fear (no one ever said this isn’t terrifying…), our “yes” can also change history…our “yes” becomes a part of her story, which is nothing other than His story…

Our “yes” is to Jesus and whatever Jesus offers us, of His disciples. Often we look to the beatitudes, the cross, the sacraments of the teachings, objects, graces, images conferred to us by Christ, but how often have we thought about the sword?

 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword.” For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law and one’s enemies will be those of his household” (Matthew 10:34-36).

Jesus tells us that He has not come to “bring peace upon the earth” but the sword.  Christ is a cause of division who uses the sword, a weapon that separates. Christ has come to separate our families; He has come to divide our homes. Jesus tells us that He has come to set “man against father” and “daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” The sword cuts to the heart of our identity: our family. Not in order to destroy me, you, or our kin but to restore, reorder, better and best: to redeem! We must say, “yes” to the “sword,” to the cut of the cross, we must be a people of pierced heart…

Christ comes to bring the sword to our way of living, to our individual families, our cultures, our nations, in order to incorporate us into the one Way, the one Truth, the one Life. He seeks to unite us to Himself—to make us His very own Mystical Body. We are offered new life in Christ through our Baptism. This Baptism incorporates us into a new family—God’s family. Christ has come to divide us in order to unite us. Jesus brings the sword to separate so that we can be brought closer! Mommom, there will never be any peace in our homes unless we understand this truth: all peace, all joy, all love, all life comes from God the Father.

Jesus’s gift of the Word is startling, and if they aren’t, they should be. He has not come to conform to our way of life—He has come to offer us new life! That life is found in Him, on the cross, flowing from His wounded side… 

“Blessed is the soul that is wounded by such love and, thus wounded, seeks the fountain and drinks, thirsts even while it drinks: it seeks by loving, and the very wound of love brings it healing” (From the Instructions of St. Columbanus).

To be pierced of heart is to live in a constant state of pining…of pining, longing for the Divine fulfillment…the very wound we feel brings us to our healer…

To accept the sword is to accept the fact that we must turn away from our former lives, from our “LIE”-ves, and begin to live the truth of who we are—the truth of our baptism: Nancy, You are my beloved daughter and in you I am well pleased. Luke, you are my beloved son and in you I am well pleased. Our baptism has “frontloaded” us (like when I put all of the cups in the dishwasher, and then try to fit some more!!) with grace. This means that God has provided us the necessary life through His Holy Spirit to fulfill our identity as His children, by remaining faithful to His Holy Spirit—active in our interior lives, active in the Church, active in the Word of God, and active in the sacraments.

How do we receive this sword, how do we share in the Immaculate Heart of Mary and allow our hearts to be pierced out of Love for Love?

Prayer. There is no other way to receive the Word of God than this…prayer. Mary is at prayer when the angel Gabriel descends to her. Prayer is the placement of our heart into the hands of God; and prayer is the moment where we surrender ourselves to Him who is our Peace…

St. Maximilian Kolbe writes: 

Indeed, prayer is the most powerful, though most ordinarily familiar, means that is destined to give peace to souls, fill them with happiness and bring them closer to God’s love. Prayers give rebirth to the world. Prayer is the irrevocable condition for the rebirth and life of each and every soul… To the extent that we will burn with the love of God, to that extent we will inflame it in the hearts of others.

Prayer brings peace to our souls because prayer is simply our relationship with Christ, with Jesus who is the Prince of Peace. Prayer, in the spirit of St. Teresa of Avila, is the very act of throwing a bucket down a well, hoping to draw water. All we can do is release the rope and send it downward, hoping, longing, and thirsting to draw water from the source of living water. There are days when we show up and our prayer is dry. The efficacy of our prayer is not measured by our methods or means, but by God’s action in us, His grace given to us.

Prayer brings peace because prayer marks our desire to be united to God. Our hearts are pierced in prayer out of a longing for the love of God. Prayer gives us this rebirth because we accept death to our former ways—our temptations, our brokenness, our sins, our old self, in order to allow the seeds of the Word to truly take root and bear fruit!

Prayer is beautiful, complex, and I could give you definition and image after definition and image but above all, prayer is meant to be experienced. We must show up, we must make space; we must open the heart of our homes to Love.  And Love comes to dwell—the Spirit of God abides in us—and we on His own timing, through His own activity, we will feel the peace of His presence. “Remain in me as I remain in you.” This is prayer—to seek always to “remain” in God; to keep Him within you, as you are held firmly in the palm of His hand…to simply meditate on this truth…you are already praying

Mommom, you asked me how does peace reign in our homes? Peace must be King of your heart. Christ must be enthroned in you. Then share Him! Share that fire! Set your world on fire! Let the light of the gospel shine. Tell us how good God is, tell us how faithful He is, and let us know that He is your source of strength, hope, and joy. Tell us about our Father… Learn about Him, be so inflamed with zeal that you cannot help but speak peace into our very hearts… Mommom, don’t be afraid to seek the peace of God. Don’t be afraid to listen to and follow the Word. There will never be peace in our hearts if we are waiting for someone else to give it to us. It is a gift from God; a gift that is already ours… have we asked for it? Have we opened it? Have we prayed for the gift of the Holy Spirit, for His peace, to come into our lives and transform us?

God doesn’t call us to mediocrity… we settle for it. God doesn’t create chaos… we do. God is a God of peace, of love, of unity. It is time to “shake the dust from your feet” and enter the hovel of our heart…this is where the Spirit comes to dwell…the Word of God cuts away the excess to make space for a Kingdom… the fire is already alive in you… don’t you see it? “The spark of divine light is within each of us” (Pope Francis)…oh squint your eyes if you must to see it!!! We are Temples of the Holy Spirit, and through our Baptism, if and when we dwell in good graces...the Holy Spirit dwells in us... (1 Corinthians 6:9).

 Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and enkindle in us the fire of your Love. Send forth your spirit and we shall be created and you shall renew the face of the earth…