How can I still have faith in the Church?


Only Tears


Last Tuesday, a grand jury report listed 301 Catholic priests from the Diocese of Pittsburgh as responsible for sexual abuse of over 1000 young people. The investigation covered priests both living and deceased, reaching back at least 70 years into the history of the diocese. The headlines seem unending. The perversity and abuse are diffuse and pervasive. The cover-ups are chilling, the silence sinful, and the despair devastating.

Last Tuesday, I received a text message from a friend that captures the raw emotion and disgust we shared at the release of this news:

“I’m reading the articles and am reeling in pain. I have no words. Only tears.”

A week before this same friend sent me this link about a group of religious sisters who were bringing to light even more sexual abuse from Church officials.

Battered on all sides it seems, it is safe to ask: why remain? Why would I profess faith in the Catholic Church? Why would I still believe in “one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church” that appears to be divide, profane, exclusive, and turning in, collapsing in on itself?

Something else happened last Tuesday in the Catholic Church that did not cover any headlines. Last Tuesday, we celebrated the feast and memorial of Saint Maximilian Maria Kolbe, OFM Conventual, a Martyr of Charity. Kolbe, a Polish Catholic priest, was sent to Auschwitz in 1941.

A few months after his arrest, the Commandant of the concentration camp was seeking ten prisoners to execute. One man, Franciscek Gajowniczek, was chosen; he cried out, begging for his life for the sake of his wife and children. Kolbe emerged from the line of prisoners offering to die instead of Franciscek.

Kolbe’s responded,  "A priest."

Kolbe was sent to the starvation bunker; days later, on the eve of the Assumption, he was injected with carbolic acid and passed from this life.


"A Priest"


Saint Maximilian Maria Kolbe: a priest. In the deepest sense of the word, lived and he died as a priest—a victim, offering his very life for others. He shared in the salvific mission of Christ: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). The life of a priest is joined to the sacrificial life of Christ—it is a total gift of self on behalf of the people of God. Kolbe exemplifies this priestly sacrifice…

But what I see in accused priests of Pittsburgh is not a life poured out in loving sacrifice on behalf of their flock; but rather, theirs is a priesthood that has victimized. Those priestly perpetrators have taken life that is not their own, they have stolen innocence…in their brokenness and depravity they have refused to lay down their lives. Instead, they have taken the very life, hope, and faith of their victims, their families, and perhaps even many other sheep in their flock…they have thrown down and desecrated the Body of Christ...

Although these priests have fallen—have failed—we must not confuse these men with the Church. As long as there is one baptized Christian alive in this world, the Church remains firmly grounded. In fact, the very words of Christ are what anchor the identity of the Catholic Church: “you are Peter and upon this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18).

Although some priests have failed, although the Church has indeed failed to respond to this crisis, Christ, our Cornerstone, has affirmed that the Church will not fail. The gates of Hades, of Satan, of the Enemy, will not prevail: the “old man” will not win. Yet this very statement of Jesus implies that many will seek to prevail against the Church, to destroy it, to topple it, to overcome. This is the Enemy, Satan. (In response to the Cardinal McCarrick mess, Bishop Robert Barron reminds us of this spiritual battle.) Countless enemies of the Church have been, are, and will continue to seek its destruction. Jesus promised that the Church will stand, but He did not promise we would be free of trial, of temptation, of intense spiritual and temporal warfare…and so we are being buffeted…

This should not surprise us. This war has been raging for years, Satan is real, and he despises us! He seeks our destruction; he is that prowling lion looking for someone to devour, and who better than the shepherd of the sheep (1 Peter 5:8)? Pope Francis even reminded us of the reality of the Enemy is his most recent exhortation

"Hence, we should not think of the devil as a myth, a representation, a symbol, a figure of speech or an idea. This mistake would lead us to let down our guard, to grow careless and end up more vulnerable." 

The priest…the “alter Christus,” the one called and equipped by grace to make Christ present in the world. The Enemy, a cunning strategist, is going after those in whom we place our trust, those through whom the life of the Church is sustained…our priests, and through them he is targeting those who are most precious to us, the most innocent and vulnerable—those whom Christ called forward, those to whom the Kingdom of God belongs! Those to whom Christ warned his disciples: “If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:6). Jesus has come to offer us life; to protect the innocent, to raise up our children into the saints that God wills them to be: for this is who we are, children of God! Any abuse of this identity is a complete denial of the salvific mission of Jesus Christ, a refusal of the Gospel, and a perversion of love, smothered in sin and stamped by a blinded slavery to the Enemy of our salvation…

Now more than ever, we must state with confidence and much chagrin, the prophecy of Blessed Pope Paul VI:


We would say that, through some mysterious crack—no, it’s not mysterious; through some crack, the smoke of Satan has entered the Church of God.” 

The Church clearly exists at war; it is both internal and external, where the wheat is growing along side the weeds. To neglect this truth would be a near-sighted foolishness that not only forgets the gospel, but also assumes we’ve all worked out our problems, our differences, our mistakes. Jesus speaks to his disciples and tells them that the seed he has sown has been infiltrated:

“Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn’” (Matthew 13:30).

Christ is for His Church: the Church is His mystical body. The Church is the chosen vessel through which God will be joined unto His people…and now, as it has been since the time of Jesus, the Church is under fire—Holy Fire, the Fire of the Holy Spirit that illumines the very darkest corners of our hearts and calls us to conversion. The Spirit calls us to the cross, the complete rejection and denial of all sin, all selfishness, so as to embrace the fullness of Jesus Christ, so as to be filled with the Spirit of God; so as to be perfect, as He is perfect… but we mustn’t be mistaken: now, as a people of God, as Church, we are imperfect. What determines the trajectory of our ministry, of our witness, of our life, now and then, is our response to the Holy Spirit that seeks to animate, restore, bring life into our wounded nature…


The Church is Mother


“REMEMBER THAT EVEN AMONG THE APOSTLES THERE WAS JUDAS WHO ABUSED THE GREAT GRACE OF HIS VOCATION.”

These words are from Saint Maximilian Kolbe. The grace of a priest’s vocation does not necessarily demand that he will respond to it…at all points, men and women are still prone to sin, to error, to temptation. Kolbe commends us to not only “Imitate the better ones.” But to also “Ignore bad example.”

As a Church, where do we look? Where do we go? Who do I go to imitate Jesus Christ, to follow a good example? As a Church, we have been and we will continue to be lead astray as individual persons and parishes, if we refuse to seek the guidance of Mary, the Mother of Jesus.

Mary is our model of Church. This very year, Pope Francis instituted this new celebration: Mary, Mother of Church. Mary begets the people of God because Mary is the mother of Jesus Christ, the head of the Church. If Mary forms the head of the Body, she must also form its members.




Many of us might be wondering how God is responding to these crises; what hope does he offer us in the midst of this chaos?

Following the liturgical life of the Church: our hope—Who is Incarnate, Jesus—is in our Lady. Physically, literally, Jesus was in Mary’s womb; spiritually, Jesus was, is, and forever will be in Mary, as she is in perpetual union with Him in Heaven. The Hope of God, then, came alive for me on Wednesday, where we celebrated the solemnity of Mary’s Assumption into Heaven.

Everything that Mary experiences by the grace of God, we as a Church, as a living temple of the Holy Spirit, must experience.  And we will! In so far as we are willing to first say yes, to share in the fiat of our Lady’s Annunciation.

We, like Mary, must say yes to the Word of God in our lives. Mary becomes the true living temple of Jesus, the spouse of the Holy Spirit, through the grace of the Immaculate Conception. She is conceived without original sin, by the foreseen merits of Jesus’ death and Resurrection; she lives a life of purity, responding by grace to resist any temptation to sin, so as to remain a fit dwelling place for the Son of God. And God comes and makes his dwelling within Her… so too does the Spirit come upon us, to dwell in us; we, as St. Paul contends, are truly temples of the Holy Spirit! Mary, then, is our model!

Mary was sent to bring and bear the good news to Elizabeth—so we must be sent out!

Mary gave birth to Jesus, brought life and flesh to the word of God—so we must carry him into the world!

Mary presented her Son, the very Son of God, to Simeon in the temple—we too must offer our dearest positions to God; we must trust Him!

Mary’s heart is opened so as to be pierced by the sword for the sake of her son, so that our hearts may be revealed—we, too, must be vulnerable, open to the sword of the Word of God, which will pierce us, consume us, change us... !

Mary is the cause of our joy, because her yes is the invitation through which Christ—the joy of the world, enters this very world!

And now, as our Church seems to enter this time of despair, now more than ever we need our Hope. We need a Mother. And you better bet God has given us one…now as we as Church are hurting, Mary, the first Church, the first and final “BODY” of Christ—that gave flesh to His very Body—offers us a share in the grace given her by God…

The example of St. Maximilian, through his intense devotion to the Immaculata, the Immaculate Conception, to Mary, speaks truth to us today: Mary, is not, cannot, and will not be violated by sin. As we share in the life of Mary, we share in Her union with Jesus, who is our ultimate end. Her heel has crushed the cursed one; the enemy—he scoffs at her virginity and decries her maternity… it is left to us as a people of God, as a child of God, if we truly desire to sit upon the seat

The celebration of the Assumption indicates our destiny as Church. In Mary, to Christ through, to Christ with our Mother, we are made to be “assumed,” caught up in the heavenly banquet. If Mary is our model, if we are called and enabled to follow in her footsteps, we too must have our heart and hope set on heaven. This was the hope that assured Kolbe that he could accept death in the concentration camp.

Mary is known as the “Mediatrix of all grace” since God so willed that Christ would come into the world through her. This was not necessary, of course; but God in His great love, desired that a creature would share in the creative capacity of God… this should not surprise us since we also are called and able to share life, to give life…and the inverse is true, we are capable of taking life, neglecting life…

And God is present with us, active for us, loving us constantly through the intercession of Mary: she did not suffer the stain of sin or the strain of death. Therefore an entirely human creature, by the very grace of God, conquered our two greatest enemies. The Church without Mary is the Church without Christ. Because without Mary’s womb, without her yes, there is no incarnation, there is no crucifixion, there is no resurrection, and there is no salvation…

I cannot say where or how those afflicted and confounded priests related to the Blessed Mother…all I know is this: a priest without Mary is a lost sheep and a sad excuse for a Christian. For to follow Jesus Christ, we must love whom He loved; we must love as He loved…

“The Church is Mother; the church is fruitful. It must be. You see, when I perceive negative behaviors in ministers of the church or in consecrated men or women, the first thing that comes to mind is: “Here’s another unfruitful bachelor” or “Here’s a spinster.” They are neither fathers nor mothers, in the sense that they have not been able to give spiritual life.” -Pope Francis

As we see these negative behaviors, we must lament. But we must also labor. For when our brothers and sisters remain barren, more fruit must be borne for the greater glory of God. When we see lackluster vocations, broken marriages, jaded religious, self-righteous Christians, we must lament, we must pray, we must cry out; but we must respond to the life of the Spirit within us to bear life, to say yes. For thousands of people outside, and thousands of people even within the Church, will say no to the call to give life… Christ has come so that we might have life and have it in abundance. The Assumption is a feast where Mary as our model reminds us that God grants us the grace necessary to fulfill our mission in this life, to truly live the Gospel. She saw the abundance of God and sought it with her whole heart. She joined herself to the Church established by her Son, praying in the upper room with the apostles. She called upon the Holy Spirit and sought to share this great gift of love with those who had just weeks before denied her very Son on His way of the cross. Any failure to ask for the grace to abide with the Church is accompanied by a failure to abide with our Mother, Mary, at prayer in the Upper Room. We need her; without her, we lack a full intimacy with the Spirit of God. Without her, the Church remains imperfect... stained by sin. But Jesus looks upon the faith of His Mother, and her faith in us, and therein lies our hope; to share in Mary's faith is to live our identity as Church... 

This means that if I have faith in the Church I also faith in the Gospel. To state and proclaim that I faith in the Gospel is to say that I, too, share in the fiat, the yes of Mary; that I have faith in the Mother of God.

And if I share in the yes of Mary, then I share in the yes of Christ, who first willed to enter into this world through her very body.

Any refusal on our part to entrust our hearts to her care, or the very world, broken and dirty as it is, is a rejection of the grace necessary to enter into the life of Christ dwelling in her. For no creature is perfect except for her. We must pray, we must offer ourselves first to God through her hands. We must pray for the temple of our Hearts; we must pray for our Church. The time of purification has long-arrived and is near in gear. We must pray for those dearest and nearest us; and we must pray for those to whom the Catholic faith has been entrusted—those we despise, and those with whom we empathize. The way of the cross has become the way of life—and now we certainly see it; the journey home is arduous, but we are not alone: God offers us the chance to walk it as a family. To Jesus through Mary, To Jesus through the Church, to Jesus, united in one as the people of God…

There is Hope in the Immaculate Heart of Mary. A Hope that never dies. This Hope is the Love of Jesus and the Life of the Holy Spirit. A Church that forgets its Mother is an orphan; a priest, a nun, a wife, that forgets their mother takes their life into their own hands...and left to their own devices, we know, we lament, what we are capable of... but by the grace of God, we have seen His Immaculate Handiwork: we know, now, what He is capable of. Let us turn to Him in faith as we cry out with Mary, "Abba, Father..."

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